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May 14th, 2013

03:06 pm - Dance Dance
Well, this is it. The last journal for the semester. Time flies by so fast. Once again, it was a nice chill day, but it wasn't a total repeat of the previous class. We spent a lot of time talking about the techniques we've learned, like (1)alternative breathing, (2)getting the feet above the heart to shut off the parasympathetic nervous system, (3) becoming aware of your breath, (4) making sure you get a proper diet, (5) especially breakfast with some protein so your body doesn't think its starving, (6) taking time out to exercise, (7) that dancing is one of the best kinds of exercise since it involves the whole body, (8) that it's not just fight or flight, but fight,flight, or freeze, and (9) that if you're overwhelmed, it might be best to do nothing until you can come back to a place where things seem manageable again.

Yes, there is a reason I numbered those and made it a run-on sentence. Shoo, internal grammar Nazis! Shoo!!

Something new we did was to pretend we were conductors directing people how to sing. It was silly, a little embarrassing, but quite fun. I wasn't nervous about singing, as I planned to have fun with it. I was just trying to tell myself to remember that all we could use to sing was "Hee hee ha ha ho." It all cycled back to the fact that (10) it's important to play.

Now...if I can just remember that when I start to freak over the fact my After Effects project is barely a WIP. ;_;

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May 13th, 2013

05:45 pm - Dance Dance
Getting ready to go to class tonight, but wanted to comment on last Friday so I have a few less missing days in my journal.

It was a pretty chill day, lots of stretching, a little yoga and the parasympathetic system reset where we put our legs up on the wall. I still can't keep them up there very long, but I still left the class feeling pretty upbeat and refreshed so whatever it is, it's working.

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May 7th, 2013

05:41 am - Dance Dance
Well...a little less sore today and I had a nice talk with my teacher after class that helped reinforce my conviction not to return home without my degree, if I return at all. This is all related to the boundaries portion of the class that I kind of laughed off on Friday. She's right though. We need to set boundaries in life and to know when to say no, and as much as I love my father, now is one of the times I need to say no. Yes, I have no idea how I'll make it to the four year with the way things are going, but I have to have faith that the universe will provide.

Who knows? Maybe this server idea that Mish has in her head will actually go somewhere. I mean, I have the web design prowess now to do something pretty nice. Certainly nicer than the Skyblock server which has bugs. *crosses fingers* We have someone who knows plug-ins, someone with experience as a mod and me who can do design. It should be fun as a side project if nothing else.

We used the balls for a little while, and considering it was a dreary day and I was a bit stressed, once again I say...it's really hard to be sad when you're bouncing. I almost got my knees onto the ball this time, so maybe if I invest in one I can get those lower abs of mine in shape over the summer...if I can find work. *sigh*

For right now though I need to nip my tendency to ruin myself when success is near in the bud and get to work. Yes, it's stressful, but I know I can do it. Well, at least the creative portion of it.

Pantomime vs dance was fun as well. I really liked the former sushi chef who did a ballerina. It was adorable and it made me smile. I have to admit, I felt more free, even after the small lecture on nutrition. At least she said I move well. :D
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Minecraft

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May 4th, 2013

02:53 pm - Dance Dance
We used therapy balls this week (4/29/13), and while the bouncing was incredibly fun, my thighs hated me. Especially the muscles on the top between knee and hip. I'm a little less sore, but I still feel it in the lower abs...which fits since that's what we were supposed to be working. The aforementioned thighs however burned way too much for me to notice the abs until after class.

One things I did notice though...I think it's hard to bounce and not feel a little more cheerful. Or maybe it's hard to bounce if you're not already cheerful? Either way, it was one of the more enjoyable classes.

I had to make up a day so I did it twice. In the make-up class she told us a bit about posture and pantomime. The pantomime part was really fun. I'm looking forward to a repeat. Nervous about the final dance though. I really need to start planning.
Current Mood: gigglygiggly

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April 29th, 2013

12:03 pm - Dance Journal
One again I've forgotten to make some logs here, but I'll try to play catch up. Most of the past three weeks was us covering our mandalas. It was really quite fascinating to hear all the stories and to see how we all ended up where we are today. Quite a few students felt they'd done nothing to be all that proud of, but as our teacher said. We've all accomplished something or we wouldn't be in the room to start with.

Personally, I went with moving to California as my proudest achievement. It's still hard to believe I managed this far, and with the end of my career as a community college student in sight, it's a bit bizarre to know it's almost time to move on to new chapters in life.

I'm still nervous as all get out about finding the money to keep going for my Bachelors and I still don't want to go back home to GA with only my AA. Yes, that particular piece of paper will help me feel less like the failure my Dad tried to make me see myself as, but the AA alone isn't good enough.

The dancing/stress management tends to bring up a lot of the stuff I'm holding inside and I've come to the conclusion that I am furious...absolutely livid that my cousin expects me to drop everything to come home and care for a man that she KNOWS spent every day verbally abusing me. She seems to think it's a shortcoming of mine that I can't just "deal with it" or let it slide off my shoulders. Mish brought up a very good point, if we were talking lover, instead of parent nobody in their right mind would tell me to stay with him. Being my parent means I love him and respect him as much as possible, but it doesn't mean that I give up the education I'm going to desperately need to go take care of him. I tried that before, I spent years waiting for the "right" time to go back, but it never came, because waiting for my father to die to see to my own livelihood is idiotic. I can't afford NOT to have an education. What if my father lives another 10 or 20 years with me waiting for him to pass on to finish school? What happens when I'm trapped with no degree and next to no job skills trying to find work at 40 or 50?

It's obvious cuz expects me to stay with him 24/7 as she said and I quote "he needs constant care". Constant care means no going to work or school, and there is no way I can stay with him 24/7 and not be driven up the wall. The man refuses to do anything I ask of him, even if it's for his own good. I asked him to fix the hole in the bathroom floor before I came back. It didn't happen. To be honest, I think he might need the wake-up call of his house being condemned before he'll listen. Cuz says I'm punishing him, and although I don't agree with this, even if I am, it's only possible because of the things he's done to himself.

It's just...UGH!

Anyway, back to dance class...I'm able to handle child's pose now if I use a bit of padding, so I feel that I'm getting better. I'm still not as flexible as I'd like though. It seems that tension in my trapezoids is a constant theme, but I'm going to equate that with the excessively large bosom nature chose to bless/curse me with. Well that and the stress. So very much stress of late.

We have to come up with a dance soon as well. I've chosen "Scars of Time" from Chrono Cross. It's relatively short and it always makes me want to move so it should be good. I'm just not sure what kind of moves I'm going to incorporate. Hopefully tonight's class will help with that a little. I suppose we'll see.
Current Location: LACC
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: "Fast Car" - Tracy Chapman

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March 25th, 2013

06:02 pm - Dance Dance
I fell off the wagon a little on my dance journal so I thought I'd post real quick while I wait for my mandala to print. I had a lot of fun during the mimic portion. Now I can say I know the chicken dance! And I wasn't scared at all during the Soffi (sp) portion where we blindfolded ourselves and danced to the music. I enjoyed dancing for my missing piece of the wheel of life, but I don't think I inspired anybody or gave off just how happy it would make me to have that little slice filled so I could concentrate on the other missing pieces instead of the rat race.

Anyway, that's all the time I have for now. I'll write more when I get home tonight. Ja ne!

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February 16th, 2013

10:56 pm - Stress Management Journal #2
Okay, so I'm really late writing for entry 2, but it's been a stressful week. Anyway, this week we worked with foam rollers. I learned that although I love them for my back, said foam rollers hurt a lot more often than they feel good, at least thus far. It was actually quite painful in a lot of places. So much so that I wouldn't want to repeat the experience if I didn't know it would eventually get better.

I also noticed that my right arm touches down a second after my left one when I'm asked to do slow deep breathing as we raise and lower our arms.

I wasn't sore as long or as intensely as I was after the first class, but I'm still not looking forward to using the rollers again because...OW!

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February 5th, 2013

11:37 am - Dance Journal #1
Okay, so I'm taking a physical education class called "Stress Relief Through Movement" the description made me think it would involve yoga, stretching and "rhythmic movement". Yes, looking back I know I should have realized that meant dance, but I wasn't expecting it at the time.

One of the requirements is that I keep a journal of what I feel about the class. Odd, but if that's what I gotta do, that's what I gotta do.

So what do I think after class number one? Easy. One word. OWWWWwww. Don't get me wrong, during the class it felt good to move and aside from being unable to do some of the poses due to knee issues it was fun, but I HURT afterward. Even after a night of sleep I'm achy. My legs do not like me at the moment, especially given that I have to walk to and from the bus stop again due to issues with my scooter.

Did I mention I have a scooter? Well I do, and she served me well until right before Spring semester began. As in, RIGHT before. I was late to my first class because it didn't want to stay on.

But I digress. Dance Journal...Aside from the pain, it was a pretty fun class. We did a lot of focused breathing and I realized that I've been around the yoga-loving friend long enough to automatically breathe to my diaphraghm (sp?) when told to breathe. My stomach was rising along with my sternum, but the stomach came a hair faster. I didn't do the shallow breathing thing where chest goes up and stomach goes in. It was actually a bit hard to try and make myself breathe that way, so I just gave up and did the deep slow breathing. It's a lot more relaxing that way.

I really need to get myself some proper dance clothes, because jeans are not gonna cut it and I need something built to wick away sweat. Because I did sweat...a lot...it was stinky. Might want to add a miniature deodorant to that list. I just need to get my darn student aid first.
Current Location: Los Angeles City College
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: "Get Up Offa That Thang" - James Brown

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October 14th, 2012

07:20 pm - Yaoi Con
Whelp, that's it...yaoi con is over. I didn't get to spend the entire weekend here, but I still enjoyed it regardless. I'll be sending photos and spanking footage to my fellow evil yaoi girls.
Current Location: Long Beach
Current Music: Bad Romance

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October 13th, 2012

07:24 pm - Yaoi Con
The change of location from SanFran to Long Beach might be disappointing to the San Francisco natives, but it means I get to cross "attend Yaoi con" off my bucket list. The first couple days have been frustrating since I got in late due to school and such, but so far I'm still having a ball. In fact I just got out of the panel with HamletMachine and I'm totally giddy with it. SQUEE!! ^_^

I think I've been bit by the con bug. I want to do this again, complete with cosplay once I'm working again and can actually, you know, buy more than one book. >

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